She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
whose parrot is this?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
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