He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
