apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
