I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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