Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think i have two assholes
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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