if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
