I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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