i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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