He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
