Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
