2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
