i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize