I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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