my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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