I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Why is there bacon in the couch?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
