I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
