your room smells of hookers.
And success
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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