we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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