she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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