It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
