so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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