why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
