hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
