Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
