How'd it feel making her break her religion?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize