She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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