Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
