google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
