She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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