I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I need moral support for this bender
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
