Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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