i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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