I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
