they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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