So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
ok first of all what the fuck
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
