can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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