Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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