Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sext me about skeletons
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
