what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
