The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
