Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
