thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
