Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize