No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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