dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Your dad touched me again.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
