I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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