I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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