Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize