Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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