never play flip cup with pint glasses
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
