is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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