is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
