what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
