Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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