This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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