I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
