Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(292): View more from

i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

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(805): View more from California

You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This is why Helen Keller didn't drink

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(304): View more from West Virginia

And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.

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(616): View more from Michigan

you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.

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