They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
