i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have fence marks all over my body
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
