the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
